The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
