I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
