Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
