Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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