I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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