South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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