I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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