Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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