Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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