Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
