I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So much rum. So many feels.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
