I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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