Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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