C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Are we still banned from the library?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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