I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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