why im i the only drunk person in the library?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize
