how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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