brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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