she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
