Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
