doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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