he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
