I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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