have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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