Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
