Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
