I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
