maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
