I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize