Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
