That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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