Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
