there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
