is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
