white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
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