You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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