Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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