Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
