my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
