I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize