that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
