he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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