It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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