And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize
