Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
