That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
