apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
