If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
