She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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