I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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