Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
