Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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