i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
