no one should ever give us hovercrafts
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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