i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
love makes seman taste better
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
