I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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