she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
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