we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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