Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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