She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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