is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
